THE MIND KILLER
The Mind Killer, spooky title, right? What do you think it might be? Maybe some slimy wormlike thing slips into your bedroom in the dark of night, crawls into your ear while you are dead asleep and eats your brain, or this really scary looking creature from the planet Luzur 3, which kind of looks like a humanoid lizard, places it’s lizard like claws in each of your ears and liquefies your brain, or like in this old movie, Screamers, these very ordinary looking people have the ability to destroy your mind with a massive cerebral hemorrhage, causing death, just by concentrating on you.
Nope, by now, this shouldn’t surprise anyone, go into your bathroom, take a good look in the bathroom mirror and you will see ‘The Mind Killer’ staring back at you. Yes, that’s correct, you and only you have the ability to destroy your mind, unless of course you give permission to someone else and allow them to destroy your mind. We do that from time to time. I bet you can even remember the last time you allowed someone to do just that. I can, and I am grieved to report that it really wasn’t all that long ago.
The real ‘Mind Killer’ I am referring to is F-E-A-R, one of our most primal instincts; the instinct of self preservation, fear is a major contributor if not, the largest contributor to the survival and proliferation of the human race. When there is danger, fear kicks in and tells us to run, run very fast, away from the perceived threat, which usually insures that some will survive and the giant organism, known as the human race will continue. That’s what ‘Instincts’ are all about, survival of the species. Take a walk through the woods, almost any forest animal you come across will run away, you are a perceived threat to their survival, their fear tells them to run. On the other hand, if you come across one that does not fear you and runs in your direction, you may want to do an about face and start running away as fast as possible, your own survival could be in question.
We are thinking and reasoning beings, our Creator made us that way, and even though fear is a basic instinct in all creatures large and small, through thought and reasoning, we can overcome our fears. Many examples exist in our everyday lives and some of us have even learned to overcome the basic instinct of self preservation in our daily jobs. I am talking about soldiers on the battle field, police and firemen risking their lives to save others. We call these people ‘Heroes’ and rightfully so, at any time they could be asked to forfeit their lives for the lives of others. They have learned to overcome their fear and the most basic human instinct of self preservation in order to serve the ‘General Good’.
First, let’s look at fear, Fear as an instinct, is a pretty darn good instinct, judging by the number of people on the planet, it has done an excellent job, that job of course, being the preservation and proliferation of the species, so it definitely has a place in our lives. Given the correct circumstances, fear is necessary, it stops us from doing really dumb things that could put an end to our existence, so we don’t want to eliminate fear. Fear is a necessary part of our being. Overcoming our fears and enabling ourselves to function under perceived threatening circumstances, making our fears less pronounced, is the goal. The heroes I mentioned earlier are not without fear, they have learned to control their fears and to function under perilous and life threatening situations. So, tell me , just how scary is that telephone?
IDENTIFYING THE MIND KILLER
Like many of you, I am concerned with building a business and how to change whatever it is that gets in the way of having the success I deserve in that business. The remainder of this writing will specifically address the ‘Fear of Failure’, as it pertains to that issue. The Fear of Failure has a myriad of contributing ‘sub-fears’, don’t bother to lookup sub-fears, it’s one of my terms, but you will understand as you read on.
My personal Fear of Failure is primarily composed of three major sub-fears; Fear of Inadequacy, Fear of Rejection and Fear of the Telephone. Fear of the Telephone could actually be considered a sub-fear of the Fear of Rejection. As you can probably guess by now, I have given a great deal of time and energy in order to categorize and analyze my Fear of Failure. Believe me it was no small task, in order to identify your fears, you must first admit that you fear something, and then try to figure out what it is that you fear. It may sound easy, but for me it wasn’t easy to admit that, some of the tasks that scared me the most, were the very keys to success in my internet business..
Learn to take personal ownership of your fear; after all you are its creator. You create it almost everyday, but strangely, it almost always owns you. If you allow it to control you, it owns you and you will do what it dictates. Ask yourself these questions, ‘How can I allow something I, myself, create out of the ether, control my actions and stifle my success? Do I allow the Fear of the Failure, to keep me from becoming successful?’ In other words, just the fear of failure, insures that I will fail, because I will not do some of the things necessary to succeed. Successful people are not without the same fears as everyone else, but they have decided to control their fear and do what they are uncomfortable doing, because their Success is more important than doing the uncomfortable tasks it takes to succeed. What side of the ‘Equation of Fear’ do you want to be on? Don’t we all want to be successful?
If we learn to use our fear, it is actually just another very useful tool. If we are just a little fearful, it keeps us alert and at the top of our game, ready to handle anything that pops up we weren’t expecting. So, if we learn to control our fear, we can consciously use our fear to our advantage. It will keep us sharp, focused and on our ‘A’ game. Our bodies naturally produce a chemical called ‘Adrenalin ‘. Fear releases Adrenalin into our bodies, one of the effects of this Adrenalin ‘rush’ causes our minds to be extremely alert. I think that gives us a distinct advantage when dealing with someone who is not operating from a position having a little fear.
In order to address my fears, I had to get past my denial. I did not believe I was consciously avoiding these uncomfortable tasks because I was afraid to take the necessary actions, I convinced myself that I needed to perform more important tasks first. Once I could admit my fears to myself, get past my denial, it became clear to me that avoiding the phone did much more damage to my business then I originally thought. So, tell me again, just how scary is that telephone?
CONTROLLING THE MIND KILLER
First, let’s talk about the Fear of Inadequacy, which could also be referred to as ‘Self-Doubt’. I think almost all of us at one time or another, participates in the Fear of Inadequacy. We see our leaders on stage addressing an audience and we say to ourselves, ‘I could never be that guy, I don’t speak as well as that guy does, I have a Jersey accent and it just doesn’t sound like that when I speak and I’m not as educated or as polished as ‘that guy’.
I am done struggling with this fear; I decided to take a positive approach to address my Fear of Inadequacy. I’m sure there are plenty of people harboring the Fear of Inadequacy, and they would be so encouraged to see and hear me on the stage, telling the story of my trials and tribulations on my journey to wealth and wellness. After hearing me speak and watching me on stage, they would probably be thinking, ‘If that guy can be successful in this business, I know I can do this business and be successful, he has a Jersey accent, and he is not very polished, I can probably do better than that guy’. My success will certainly help to encourage others who secretly harbor the Fear of Inadequacy. I think I’ve come to terms with the Fear of Inadequacy, I now see this as a distinct advantage for me, everyone will know the successful guy with the Jersey accent, and if he can do it, so can they.
To really attack the Fear of Failure, I had to get down in the weeds and examine the two major sub-fears that make up my Fear of Failure, yours could be different. The Fear of the Telephone and Fear of Rejection are kind of one and the same. In order to get rejected I first must speak to someone. I usually do this on the telephone or at least I am supposed to call prospects on the telephone, but I always find something more important to do, like check my back office to see how my business is doing, check my email and see if anyone that I haven’t talked to has sent me an email, that way I could answer their email and not have to call them, a term for this is avoidance. So by not calling them I avoid my Fear of the Telephone and my Fear of Rejection, if I don’t call them, they can’t reject me by saying ‘NO’, problem solved, right ? I would do anything to delay or avoid picking up the telephone and calling a prospect. An attitude adjustment was definitely needed and in short order. I had to Decide, what was more important to me, success and providing for my family like I want to, or facing a few uncomfortable situations on the telephone. It was My Decision to make, was I willing to do what was necessary to succeed or once more experience failure to launch.
In ‘Identifying the Mind Killer’, I wrote, just the fear of failure, insures that I will fail, so exactly what was it that was at the root of my two biggest fears? The most common Fear of Failure is probably rooted in the Fear of Rejection. I won’t speak to someone on the telephone, because I am afraid I won’t say the right things and the person on the other end of the phone won’t want to join me in my internet business opportunity or won’t want my product and say ‘NO’.
What happens when I call a prospect? One of two things, either, the prospect is interested or the prospect is not interested. If the prospect says ‘No’, what does that mean to me? It can’t be a personal rejection, more times then not, the person on the other end of the telephone never met me or ever will meet me, especially if they are not interested in what I am offering. How about this, if everyone says no, I will fail in this business. True, but if I call enough people some are bound to be interested, it’s just the Law of Averages and if I don’t call enough people, I just increased my chances for failure. The answer was obvious, I had to Decide that I have a greater fear of not being successful in my business than I have of the telephone or rejection. I am only afraid of the telephone because it could lead to rejection. It’s really not the telephone I fear, it’s the rejection that might happen when I call someone and ask them ‘How can I help you’. I had to learn to mentally say to myself, ‘OK, another no out of the way before I get the ‘YES’ I am looking for, next please’.
I Decided, that failing in my business was just not an option and when you approach your fears logically, you can use those fears to your advantage. I no longer have a Fear of Rejection, the faster I get the ‘No’s’ out of the way, the faster I get to the ‘Yes’.
Once the Fear of Rejection was conquered, my Fear of the Telephone was gone as well.
The biggest obstacle standing between you and your personal and financial success is your own ‘FEARS’. So, please tell me for the last time, just how scary is that telephone?
Contact me and let me know if you’re ready. Call me on 856-264-7802.
Es Riggins
Independent TriVita Affiliate Member #13160615
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